Friday, February 3, 2012

Today, 8 years ago..

I will always remember today's date for two important things happened in my life.. let me share with all walaupun some of my close friends know already..

It was 8 years back, but everything was so fresh to me.. macam baru semalam saja.. (cheewah, rasa mcm penulis novel la pulak..)

3rd February 2004, it was Tuesday, after sending Aizal to work (sent depan gate rumah la..), I get myself ready as I got a matter in Sungai Petani Magistrate Court. I went as usual, on the dote of 9 AM, terkejar2 climbing the court stairs, phew.. I managed to get order in term for the case.. I met few lawyer friends, we had little chat. Somehow I just don't feel comfortable in my tummy and I excused myself to go back home.

Back home, I told my Acheh maid, Agus, that I think the time has come. This was my third experience, so I think my guess was correct walaupun the due date was another two weeks. I went upstairs, took my hospital bag (which always ready) and every 20 minutes the contraction came on. I called my mom in Kangar, told her that I was leaving to Jitra Specialist Centre. , it was nearly 11 am. Mom and all my siblings were having little gathering at grandma house, bakar2 ikan, hurmmm...

When I realized I was bleeding at 12pm, I knew I had to leave for the hospital. I registered myself and done check ups at Jitra Specialist Centre which is 100kms from Sungai Petani! Mom was against it since it's far. I was just happy and comfortable with the Doctor. I gave birth to my second child, Adam with him when he was attached with Putra Medical Centre (PMC). Later when he operated on his own at Jitra, I followed him.. He was Dr. Che Rozmey. Yes, he is the one. Doctor Jus Mate 5. :)

Since Aizal was at work (in Alor Star at that time), I called my mom's sister (my Mak Teh) (she stayed in SP) and she and her husband willing to send me. There we go from SP to Jitra. I called Zira, my firm partner and told her it was time. My uncle drove my Satria at 150kms/ per hour thru the highway and later approaching Alor Star Selatan, our car was stopped by a police road block! Cepat2 Makteh bagitau polis, "dia nak bersalin!".. Without any delayed, the policeman asked my uncle to proceed. After the exit of Jitra, we met Aizal there and we arrived at the JSC by 1.30pm. The pain was bearable.. I can still enjoyed the journey, still can chat laughed with my aunt and uncle..

At 2PM, I was already in the labor room, preparing for a normal delivery. Dr Rozmey was at all times, motivate and cheerful. I can't remember the doctor's name who did my epidural.. heheh.. mintak epidural jugak.. (kalau tak mau epidural baik tak yah bersalin kat hospital swasta!!) Aizal was with me, consoling walaupun tak la sakit sangat. Dr Rozmey said the baby was fine, when he monitored thru the 'CCTV'. The count was taken and Dr said my opening was only 4 cm and I will delivery in 4-5 hours. While Aizal and I were chatting, a nurse came once a while checking the baby heart beats, where suddenly, the nurse was running for Dr Rozmey and both of them rushing back to us. We were puzzled. Dr Rozmey suddenly said to the nurses, "Get ready the OT!".. We were wondered what happened, since I felt nothing.. Then Dr said to us, "The heart beat of the baby is so weak, we have to operate you." Then only I felt pain.. Not really the labor pain but scary on the operation thingy! :p

When I was pushed to the operation theater, I saw mama, ayah and maktok were already there. Mama told me, they just left the ikan bakar, tak sempat makan.. Aizal was with me in the OT, while the Dr. was on his task. I was awake at all times, sometimes feeling sleepy and drowsy. At 3.20 PM, a baby boy was taken out from my tummy. His sounded like his brother, Adam. The baby was taken out to the nursery while Dr was on his task to "close" back the opening.. I heard the nurses and the Dr counted 1-10.. then after 5 minutes, counted again 1-10.. then again 1-10.. I was wondering what were they counting? I asked Aizal, he said that they were counting my fingers.. hahaha.. very funny.. later he explained that they were counting on their operation utensils used on me, afraid they might left anything behind in my tummy.. I was laughing for a moment..

Then suddenly Dr Rozmey went out. My epidural Dr came along with him. They talked, they discussed. I couldnt really understand what the hell thay were talking.. The epidural Dr tried to make a short conversation with me, asking me to stay awake and not to close my eyes.. Then both of the doctors were talking, something serious but things that I never understand..(ye la, bahasa doctor, aku ni lawyer..)

Then the Dr rushed outside, with the handphone on him, rushed in, then again rushed out, done something to my tummy, rush back outside.. Meanwhile, my epidural doctor, kept by my side with Aizal, he kept on calling my name, asked me not to fall asleep. I feel very weak, drowsy.. Later I heard Dr Rozmey talked to Aizal, expaining something and I heard Aizal said, " whatever the best Dr.". Later I saw Aizal was asked to sign a paper and he did in seconds.

In half awake, I asked Aizal what was going on.. Aizal then said.."Adik (Aizal called me Adik), in order to save your life, Dr had to removed your uterus, u can't stop bleeding otherwise.." I was still drowsy, blanked, did even understand what Aizal was saying.. Then I asked him again," what does it mean by removing my uterus?".. Aizal said," it means.. we can't bear child anymore, sayang.. " I was so sad when he said that. I want to have more children, I only have a girl..I felt like crying, so I called for the Dr. Dr. Rozmey came nearer. I said to him, "No, Dr. don't do that. any other way?" Dr then explained, "this is the only way to save the mother's life. I'm so sorry..". He then explained to me that I have lost almost 40 % of my blood body. My womb and uterus kept on bleeding non stop. Aizal then signed the consent letter to removed my uterus. Without any delayed my uterus then was removed! I was also been explained that my cervics was also removed since cervics worked together with uterus so no point leaving cervics without uterus.. itu mcm pon ada..

Then, due to lost lots of blood, after 3 hours struggled, I was transferred to GH Alor Star in an ambulance for blood transfusion... ( Merasala aku naik ambulance yg bunyi nino nino tu..) My baby was left at JSC just like that. No one care about him, I don't even had a chance to kiss and hold him. Mama and Maktok cried with me in the ambulance. I was blanked. But my spirits were strong, I said to mama, "Tak boleh bagi cucu dah kat Mama.. Rezeki 3 saja Allah bagi.."

I was treated like so called emergency patient when arrived at the GH.. (tak pernah lagi aku tgk GH kalut, selalu rilek saja..) Transfussion was done. I was at ICU for 6 days.. Frankly, I couldn't explained my feelings at that time. May be because of my drowsiness, the feelings just went off.. But when I was ok after few days at the GH, when every nurses and Drs came and asked me questions like ," anak dah berapa?", "ada girl, ada boy?", then started making statements like "muda lagi, baru 29!", "oh, kesiannya..".. Then I started to realize, removing uterus and cervic was not a simple thing.. It had change my life!

Aizal was very supportive.. I said to him, "Kalu u nak kawin lain, u jaga.. sebab u yg bagi consent to remove my uterus.." Hahaha.. He then said to me, "even though u still can bear children for me, I will not allowed after what I've seen u gone thru.." With the counseling from the doctors, I took the positive sides.. Even though I lost my uterus, my cervics, I still have the baby. (Dr said there are some cases, the mother lost both, baby and uterus), So, syukurlah that I have 3 kids, I have a girl and I have two boys..

I'm like a normal mother and wife now, except that I'm clean at all times. I have no menses, feel free to go to Hajj without taking any pills, save money on buying sanitary pad monthly, and can start dieting without risau akan ada baby fat lagi.. (tapi tak kurus2 pun.. hahaha..)

Whatever happened, I accepted it from Allah.. Mesti ada hikmah di sebaliknya.. At least I have been given a chance by Him to see my kids growing.. So, untuk Akif Aizal, Happy Birthday, sayang yg ke 8, eventhough mama undergone hard times to bring you into this world, mama tak pernah kesal.. (malas study, siap la kau!!) I love u so much, dear!


izYa fYreeZyaNa said...

sedihnya dgr kisah kaknija...
but nvm, Allah tau apa yg terbaek utk akak.. n ur children smua good good ones, alhamdulillah..
be strong! i know u are :")

nurulfarah said...

sedeh kak long.
Allah selamatkan u kaklong!

Hambali ® said...

salute to both of you.

may allah will always give all the happines to all of you and yr family.

Ustaz Kg said...

bukan hikmah...tapi amaran dr Allah kerana dosa2 lampau kamu..internet kamu guna utk menghina manusia2 lain.kalau boleh mintak maaf dgn sapa2 yg kamu fitnah..lakukan segera